If not for flesh and blood we wouldn’t be related to our family and that holds the bond of irrevocable love for each other to live and feel belonged because when you try understanding the purpose of your existence, sense of belonging is a very vital feature we have to be able to realize.
The Millenials are broad-minded and active but that does come with a lot of catch, this sanctuary called family is slowly depleting for a various set of reasons and somewhere down the line all of us are to be blamed. The concept of family is ancient, from joint family to nuclear family relationships have multiplied and there are new forms of it that we experience and are made to accept in the society.
All of us have come across, some heartwarming family movies, tv series and stories as well, the sanctuary on which family thrives on is that of Respect, Communication and trust and wherever this is absent consider it to be toxic.
We arrive into this world as innocents. Wide eyes and vulnerable. It is the job of our parents to nuture and protect us.”
-Klaus Michaelson (quoted from the Originals)
They say friends who betray are the biggest form of betrayal, well I’d like to differ, Family who betrays is indeed the greatest betrayal to even consider and bear in any existence of a living being. These are the mere pillars of reality when it comes to any family and to not being respected is as close as being treated as an abomination. Family Toxicity happens when parents start being selfish and there is surely some amount of it in every family in the current world. “Family Above all” may be all great to hear in the big screen, but when reality hits it hits hard especially with something like family its an insurmountable pain.
As individuals in society, we must understand our worth, and that it is not okay to be treated any less than another person. parents must stop considering raising children as though its some job, the task is hard undoubtedly but becoming selfish is going to make it hard for everybody. Privacy and understanding the emotional stature of the child is important even during times when the child has committed a mistake. Young Adults must be let to make their own choices as freedom isn’t something given or even asked for that matter, it shouldn’t be quantified or used as leverage, it’s not freedom then. This is an open note to everybody out there suffering.
There is nothing more challenging than living in an environment with unexpressed frustration and it can cause severe psychological issues and family shouldn’t be the one from where the child develops it as its the first every socialization they receive and to make it toxic can flaw them beyond repair.
Things may seem hard right now with your family, it can be as simple as wanting a bike or as big as going after your dreams against your family, remember your mind is your only enemy so nurture it with the right kind of reinforcements. Never let your parents abuse you or threaten you in cases like that seek help because it’s always available. Undergoing suffering is not going to get you what you want or get you closer to your dreams, there is a great difference between Sacrifice and Cowardice. Nobody is kind enough to pick you up and give you the motivation to go after what you want, remember if you arent willing to take the risk then the blame is on. Quit waiting for Inspiration stories, motivational memes and articles to give you your driving force, Eat sleep and run for your dream and your passion stop at nothing and learn to channelise the anger through the right medium.
You don’t have to be stuck up in a family that doesn’t treat you well, learn to say no, learn to leave and learn to suffer. You will be mocked, hurt, criticized and traumatized and there will be days where you wished you shouldn’t have committed this, but its better than being held captive in the name of love and togetherness when its just blatant lies. We are made to believe that family is the only ticket to heaven, the bigger question is what kind of family is it? Adult children feel it more or less as a compulsion to stay in touch with their family even when it’s not safe around them and against their happiness. If a Parent fails its not the child’s fault if a child fails then its surely the parent’s selfish nature.
family Toxcity starts when children are considered to be an investment, and not as people but as things that can be punished, manipulated and controlled for the parents cardinal desires.
Rememeber its not okay to be stripped off your self-respect and made to feel worthless, or snatch your dreams away from you or abused physically, mentally or verbally. When that hapens learn to take a stand and say No and act if its necessary
It’s never too late, all you have to do is open that door to your dreams and self-respect, run to your dreams and ambitions that you dropped one day just because your family mocked about it, give it life make yourself feel alive again. Dust the self-doubt of your heart, fear of being unaccepted and just go after it and remember to leave if you have to.